I Need More TimeAugust 10, 2017
It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. The smell of roses and chocolates consumes me. Everywhere I look there are couples displaying their love and affection for each other with hugs and kisses and cute Facebook and Instagram posts. It’s a beautiful thing for sure. But as a single mom, I can’t help but to think about my first true love…my son.
I remember the day I found out that I was going to be a mother. That moment changed my life forever. Instantly, I began to evaluate who I was at the time and who I wanted to be. I thought about the type of mother I wanted to be to my son. I wanted to be strong and show him the true meaning of a godly Proverbs 31 woman so he will choose the best partner when he gets older. The nine months of pregnancy waspreparation for the love I would share with him. Before I met him, we were already connected. I had dreams about how he would look, light skinned with curly hair. I imagined myself showing him the world and teaching him the important things in life. I would have talks with him about what I imagined for him in his future. I established a rule of prayer with him as I said the Lord’s Prayer to him daily . Communication was the key from the beginning.
The day he was born was an unforgettable experience. I was so excited to meet him! The journey itself was quite traumatic, but all I remember is fighting through the fear and pain to be able to see my son’s face. Due to my high risk pregnancy and his heart condition, I had an emergency c-section. In the short moments before his arrival, my vision was blocked by a blue sheet, and I had no idea what was going on. Then I heard his voice, a strong cry. There he was; my son, but I still couldn’t see him. A few moments later I saw his birght face and a head full of hair, and instantly fell in love. This moment was the essence ofunconditional love. What an amazing choice I made to love this tiny human being for all that he was. And to think that I could have chosen abortion, but God had other plans for me and my son. Our lives are true testimants to God’s faithfullness. A few moments after he was born, he was flown to a nearby children’s hospital due to his congenital heart defect, and I was left to lay in a hospital bed without him. My heart was gone for a moment but I would soon see him again, fighting for his life.
Today my son and I still have an amzaing bond, but it takes work to maintain. I have to be intentional in showing my love towards him. I tell him that I love him daily so he never has to guess if his mommy loves him. My love formy son is a bond that can’t ever be broken. I have chosen to love him unconditionally, from day one because he is my first true love.